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3 months ago · · Stress,
I am tired of crying alone. I have tried all my life to be the good girl. For my family, I became more rigid, I trusted no one. And now I look back on my life of unseen tears I wonder if it was worth it. If I should have played around with boy, tried drugs, if I should have taken care of my brother, or go above and beyond to help my sister. All with no expectation for it to be repaid. And now that I am down I feel alone. No one to tell me it's not my fault, no one I can let see me cry. I am expected to be stable and deal with how I feel. Being told I am being to emotional at the first sign I am not happy. But now I am broken both mentally and physically and could not leave and go my own way if I tried. I have been suicidal in the past and I don't want to go back to that. But if my reason for living is my family it makes me start to wonder if that's enough of a reason anymore. I don't want a lot someone I feel like is on my side, to know it's not me.