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My mind is twisted. I don't understand who I am or what I'm supposed to do, I remember seeing him hang on a noose and I can't get it out of my head, the pain I have is so much to handle and I feel like I can't push myself to do school. My smile feels so fake and I can't rely on anyone to keep me happy, my heart hurts and my thoughts tell me the world is cruel, I just need something to give me hope and put color in my eyes again. Just in the way id look into the fields as a kid and see endless color, I'm 16 and my dad passed away 2 years ago and it still hurts the same way. It feels like my eyes have gone. Someone tell me what to do. I make videos to pour out my last bit of happiness and now I feel empty. A hollow husk. Give me hope please
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Hello,
I am sorry for your loss and your pain. I have not lost a parent to suicide but I have seen my father stab himself in front of me and that is something he and I are still am healing from. I can only share what I have learned from this. You are not blame or have anything to do with his decision. Sadly their mental health was out of their manage. Know that regardless of what happened you are loved. Remain strong and know this to will pass. I send you my love and well wishes.
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