I have plot armor

This is a weird one, but I have plot armor irl. I don't know why I do, how I got it or what gave it to me (or if I was just born with it), but I have it.

Don't get me wrong, this doesn't mean that I'm super lucky, in fact it's quite the opposite. But there are things about my life and even about my physical body that makes me fully aware that I have this sort of plot armor.

For instance, there has been many, many, MANY times where I should've ended up homeless but something always pulled through at the last moment. Or the dozens of times I've nearly died, coming out completely unscathed. Things of that nature.

Though others around me tend to not be so lucky. It's something I've noticed all my life. It's almost like the worst things that could happen, happen when I'm around. It's like I'm some sort of omen or something.

I've had relationships crumble into physical brawls right in front of me. Like my cousins, who got in a fight over something as stupid as who got to paid for the pizza. To another cousin and her boyfriend coming to blows while sitting feet away from me. To people I got close to, suddenly having lots of troubles in life, be it jobs, family, even cars start acting up when I'm around.

Yet I still never manage to fall below where I am. I've been homeless one time and it was because I chose to be, it lasted for less than a week.

I just don't get it. In some ways, I feel like it has to do with the way that I see and experience this reality along with the rest of you. There's just something different about how I see, hear, smell, taste and feel in comparison to everyone else.

There's no way for me to truly describe it other than the notion that I'm the main character. I know that may sound a bit like solipsism but it's not. I'm keenly aware that others exist and that they experience things in a similar fashion when held in contrast to each other, it's me that's different and people tend to notice it. Like a warning sign printed on my forehead.

I have been trying to explain this for my entire life and no matter how I try to word it or what kinds of metaphors I use, it never fully does what i experience any justice.

I have even considered the notion that I am God in human form. Despite the fact that i don't even believe in a God, which makes way too much sense once you account for the fact that i don't believe in myself, either. Not even in the slightest. So why would i believe in God, if i can't believe in myself? Especially if I am some conscious form of God. That's asinine, I know.

I've given up on the notion that others would ever understand me or what I am experiencing but I swear to you, when I say "God", I don't mean being worshipped or anything like that. I mean creation and destruction. I'm not saying I'm all knowing or all powerful or any of those other things. I'm just as mortal and powerless as anyone else.

Even if it were true, I wouldn't want people to worship me! Hell, I'd rather people do anything to avoid being anything like me.

Yet I do see one thing through God's eyes. That one thing is all of you. The amazingness of Human beings. I could gush about it, but I won't today.

No, today is about me and what I feel is so wrong with everything I've experienced in this life. I could go into detail and everything but suffice it to say, I've never had things go my way.

Only when I'm at that threshold of being completely and entirely abandoned and broken. Homeless, nowhere left to turn, on death's doorstep. Those areas are where my plot armor kicks in.

I'm like a cat, it doesn't matter how far I fall, I'll always land on my feet. Even if I have no intentions to continue standing afterwards.

All I know is that I never asked to be here and I would've never asked to go through all the things I've been through. Yet I have gone through them and I've survived, even against my own will.

How fitting would it be for an all powerful entity, who has ALWAYS gotten their way, to come to understand humanity than by coming down to earth, and experiencing one of the saddest lifes humanity had to offer? How could you get anymore cosmically ironic than that?