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I have been such a terrible person and girlfriend. I'm amazed that my partner is still with me after the way I've treated him in the past. Being young is no excuse. I am/was toxic. If his mother really knew how I treated him, I would have been put out years ago.
I was bitchy, always in a bad mood, snappy, controlling, and just down right mean. His friends would call a bitch and they were right. I feel like we have no happy memories because I started arguments over every little thing. There is lost love there because of this and at some point, I think I stayed out of convenience rather than love. I couldn't be more sorry for how I've treated him. I want to be with him and I do love him but when I see pictures of other happy couples I feel guilt that we didn't have that for most of our relationship because of how shitty I was.
We are in a good place now, I'm getting better but this guilt really plagues me. I'm a terrible person and we had the potential to have a really great relationship but I ruined it all.
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Hey, hey hey. There is nothing to be guilty about. Everyone makes mistake and you made choices in past you are not proud of. You cannot change what happened in past, no one can but future is always in our hands. And exculpating from guilt is never easy but maybe you can start trying with being a better version of yourself and more attentive and compassionate towards your partner. Trust me, love will heal all guilt, it always does.
ReplyThank God at least SOMEONE in this world has a sense of self-responsibility. At least you admit that you're not an innocent victim. Good job for you. You ruined it all and all you can do is apologize to him and learn from this mistake. You are a GOOD person for feeling guilt and recognizing your sins. Bravo o
ReplyIs your boyfriend making you feel guilty about it? And was he provoking you in any way to be "btchy". Idk, at the end of the relationship with the ex, I started acting "btchy" according to him, but I realized it was in reaction to his passive-aggression, ignoring/walking during important conversations, pretending to be listening but not really, things like this ... these situations can make it confusing who is the bad guy and who isn't...
Replyit's good that you can admit this to yourself I know it's hard. But now you have the play book on how not to be and what not to do. So now it's your time to grow and move forward.
Reply