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So, in high school I was over 250 pounds. I am only 5'6, that was definitely unhealthy.
I would get up in the middle of the night and eat everything:Chili, cake, candy, ice cream, literally everything. And then I would lie about it the next day. "Of course I didn't eat your cake!" "I asked you, do you not remember?" (I convinced my brother he had a memory problem, I used that excuse so much.
So I decided that I would do intermittent fasting. So I couldn't eat between 8pm and 10am. And honestly, that worked wonderfully! It really helped me stop binging, and changed my relationship with food. And I lost some weight! Then in college I wanted to lose more weight, so I cut back that eating window more and more. Eventually I only allowed myself to eat between 3pm and 6pm, and I was tracking the calories I was consuming in that window. I lost weight, but it was unhealthy on the other side of the spectrum. I noticed how obsessive I was being and panicked and stopped doing anything to lose weight. I didn't want to obsess about it and other things were more important at the time.
Luckily I have maintained that same weight and even lost a little more (with plenty of fluctuations of course.) Problem is, I hate my body. I have always hated my body. I know losing more weight wont change that, but I want to be thin so badly. I see myself as fat and ugly, even though those that I tell I feel that way tell me I am not fat, and I'm definitely not ugly. But I'm not thin either. I'm still the bigger friend. How do I learn to love myself? Because i am trying, and it doesn't seem to be working.
I want to count calories and stuff again, but I'm scared I will go too far again. I know I could probably lose another 40 pounds, but how exactly do I do that? I workout. I try to eat decently healthy (I'm not great by any means, but I don't eat terribly). I am decently active throughout the day. I drink water. What more can I do without getting obsessive?
Also... I have lost over 75 pounds (I'm around 175 now). Nobody really knows that, and nobody seems to notice or care. I want someone to know though, so I am telling you. I lost 75 pounds, and it has been such a rollercoaster of learning and growth. And it definitely hasn't been a smooth downhill slope, but that is an accomplishment.
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I love you :") Thank you so much for sharing these words of wisdom
ReplyGreat job! keep it up! I weigh 236 and trying to loose 100 pounds! I just got done exercising for an hr. I exercise 4 times a week . I havent lost weight in 6 months. It is so frustrating! so hearing your story inspires me. I want to do intermittent fasting but I cant . I take 3 medications and have to eat something with each one. but I wish I lost 75 pounds. I want to give up but I keep going!
ReplyWell, I wouldn't necessarily recommend what I did to lose it lol. But I totally believe in you! all of those little changes add up to big results. Congrats on working out! That is not a small thing.
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