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How do you tell the difference between hearing voices and all the voices already in my head?
So I have pretty bad dyslexia and one of my systems is that I get a lot of thoughts at once. My mind races a million miles a minute and sometimes it's difficult to pull out the important information. It's a symptom that a lot of people don't realise is linked to dyslexia.
Thing is this means inside my head I have a lot of different thoughts going on and some are loud and mean. I know these are also known as intrusive thoughts although I'm not sure if they're linked to my dyslexia. It's hard to tell if there's something else going on because my mind is already a mess.
It's like I'm thinking of the conversation I'm having while also thinking about the meaning of life while also thinking of lists of things I need to do while also thinking of the tv show I watched earlier and so on and so forth. Yeah a lot of stuff at once.
But sometimes in the back of my head there's a voice that says weird things like "where are you going?" "They hate you" "you're nothing" "push them" "too scared" "fool" "leave now". I can't tell if this is just some jumbled words in my head because of my dyslexia or if it's something I should be concerned about.
Sometimes these thoughts really disturb me and I can't see how it's possible for me to think them. It's always saying to push old people down stairs! Like that's so cruel why would I do that? Why do I even think it!
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Based on your post, you're aware that YOU ARE NOT YOUR THOUGHTS as you're able to identify them. You're aware of the kind of thoughts that you have. You're even aware of the speed of your thoughts. The reason why you're aware and can separate yourself from your thoughts because you are the observer of them, the seer, the AWARENESS of all...the REAL YOU.
Thoughts are created by the mind. They are movements, they come and go. They are the noises, chatter, or voices that bother you. Some are from the past that you have not dealt with and some from the future you get anxious about. Those that you think about all the time or repetitively become your beliefs that affect your perception, behavior and attitude. No human is exempt from this experience. Thoughts are energy that can become real when you keep thinking about them. When you think and focus on bad thoughts, bad experiences are experienced and when you think and focus on goos ones, good experiences are experienced.
However, YOU are the IMMOVABLE, STILLNESS, CONSCIOUSNESS AWARENESS of these thoughts. YOU have a choice and the right to ignore, let thoughts slip by and not be affected by them. YOU are the MASTER OBSERVER of your thoughts. YOU are about PEACE, JOY and LOVE.
Meditation helps, breathing exercise helps, mindfulness helps.
EMOTIONS are the indicators of the thoughts you chose to think about. Emotions help you know the quality of thoughts you chose to focus your attention to. You have the right again to CHANGE your thoughts.
What is your choice, master observer?
ReplyCognitive-behavioral therapy.
I have adhd and I used to beat myself up too much for being lazy and useless. I felt somewhat reminiscent of what you're dealing with in that I felt like I wasn't in control of my own body. My personality was hard working and loved to learn but my body wouldn't give me the chemicals to do it. CBT is helping me so much with this! In the past year, my therapist taught me how to navigate my brain and given me an outlet to work through my problems. She helped me feel in control of my life again and in the past year, my parents and teachers noticed how much I've improved! I just absolutely cannot recommend it enough and I want you to know that you can achieve anything. It's the system that's flawed not you :)
ReplyGreat as advice from the others nothing I can really add. I will say 100% do not think yourself mad for your thoughts. Everyone goes through the same process we are all human.
I would agree to talk to someone. The therapy can help and the CBT. Also get a time out to get the mind and stress to slow down a little. Meditation and exercise might help. God Bless.
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