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my mother is a horrible one. i wish i was never her child or better yet i wish she was never born. she has been this abusive figure ever since i was born, never letting me make mistakes, constantly gaslighting and manipulating me, she degrades me every time i mess up to the point where ive wanted to kill myself since the 7th grade. i self harm because of her. im depressed because of her. im anxious because of her. shes a mother, shes supposed to love me and yet i do not know what the love of a parent is like because both of my parents are abusive to me and only me. my mother is engulfed in my studies and when i bring home an A- it is the death of me and my electronics. she is making me go to her dream school even if i just want to run as far far away from here. recently shes been giving me hell. constantly telling me in psycho, stupid, and worthless. my grades have been dropping because of my depression and when i told her im trying my best, she blew up and told me to give up on college because if that was my best, i didnt have a chance in college. shes been doing this to me since i was born. shes forcing me to study this entire weekend even if im surrounded by people resting and doing what they want. the first thing she told me when she saw me still asleep was "youre trying to avoid studying arent you, get up and go study until youre dead" i hate my mother. i hate her i hate her i hate her. when i eventually end my life, i will make it a point that SHE and ONLY SHE is the reason i am dead.
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I had a dreadfully nasty mother who I hated as well but I knew that one day I would leave home and be rid of the bitch. You will leave home too one day and be able to live your life without your dreadful mother too. When you leave stay away from her and drop the hatred as soon as you can because you are the only one who feels it and it is an unwanted burden for you. Don't make your mother the cause of your death, she isn't that important. Instead keep going even though it is hard and look forward to the day you leave like I did. If you want you can write her a letter letting her know how you feel.
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