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I have a cousin who has dyslexia, ADHD, hyperactivity, and is left-handed to boot (to be fair, I'm left-handed too, we have a strong left-handed gene in our family. In our culture it is considered unlucky/a bad thing). But the thing is my aunt is absolutely non supportive of my cousin. She failed to convert him into a right-hander, thankfully, but has made no effort in helping him learn to use his left hand. This means that he struggles with basic things like using chopsticks or how to hold a pencil, and often writes very hard. Furthermore, she continually calls him stupid and tells him he's not studying hard enough, although she privately acknowledged that he might have dyslexia. I'm absolutely fed up with the situation. Not only is she not helping, she's escalating the situation. You should be supporting a dyslexic child, celebrating small victories, and making accommodations for his high energy, not forcing him to sit and study. That's not helping - at all. And I can't do anything either. I do visit them and in that time I try my best to accommodate his unique learning circumstances, but my aunt disallows any "learning games" or "loud noises while studying". She expects him to just sit there quietly and study, which is honestly bullshit. I have tried giving him a reward system, but the going is slow when I'm only there occasionally, and he does not have the discipline growing up with this. I have done extensive research on all the problems and how to combat them, as well as come up with what I hope is a suitable start in helping to teach him writing, reading, and concentration, but the self-deprecation my cousin frequently turns to, as well as my aunt's lack of support is honestly damaging.
At the same time, my aunt asks that I come over semi-frequently to help both him and his sibling with studies. When I do come over, she often ends up disappearing to enjoy herself or to sleep, leaving me in charge of both my younger cousins. I'm supposed to settle their meals and their studies. But if she comes back and the house is even a little bit messy, she screams at her kids. So I'm supposed to try and juggle between what my younger cousins need, while ensuring they don't leave too much of a mess and clean up after them if not they'll get it. She cites that I'm grown up, but I've been doing this since I was 16, which is still a minor age. I don't hold anything against my cousins and I'm willing to go there to help them out, but my aunt is just so unsupportive. It makes it hard to make any progress at all.
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Sit her down and have a talk to her about all of this or write her a letter explaining this to her and leave it for her to read when you leave next time.
ReplyYour such a great support to your cousin May God bless you more! and I suggest you talk to your aunt and do counselling to accommodate your cousins unique needs ... I agree what you said.
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