What are you looking for?
Featured Topics
Select a topic to start reading.
I've talked pretty extensively about my past trauma and delved into most of my pain. Though there is a few other instances I've never told anyone.
Trigger warning!! Sexual abuse
I'll give you a moment to decide whether you want to continue reading or not. This will be explicit.
I'm serious, this is really gross.
Alright, you were warned.
Back when I was about 14 or 15, my father, his wife, my brother, stepsister and myself were staying the night at my grandma's trailer. Yes, it's a sweet home Alabama song, but not in the way you might think.
My aunt and her two sons were also spending the night as well. All of us packed into the back room. Now, I don't remember how it ended up that it was my aunt, her youngest son and me in the bed while everyone else slept on the floor but that's what ended up happening.
So I'm sleeping and I'm feeling a hand moving on me. Woke me up, it took me a moment to realize it was my aunt's hand, creeping under my shirt, then down my pants.
I kinda freaked out a bit and got out of the bed. Opting to go lay on the floor, the entire time she's whispering for me to come back.
That was the end of that. But not the entire end. A year or so later, she had come over to our apartment. Now my brother and I were messy hogs. Our room was trashed almost all the time.
I'll never understand why but she opted to started cleaning our room. I was just sitting there, 15 year old boy, going through puberty and she got in front of my view. Her shirt dangling off her body, revealing she wasn't wearing a bra.
And of course, OF COURSE, my little pubescent mind started following behind her to take in the view for as long as possible. She knew I was right behind her and she'd look back at me and smile. Once she was done cleaning, she turned to me, lifting her shirt up and asking if I wanted to touch them. I was paralyzed.
Of course, I wanted too but I couldn't move. I just sat there staring so she took my hand and placed it on her breast. Still paralyzed, I didn't do anything. She squished her hand around mine. Rubbing her areola in the palm of my hand. Then she kissed me. Then it was over.
Many years later, we saw each other again. (First of all NO! I know what you're thinking) though I won't deny that there definitely was tension there. A very familiar tension I had felt before with the couple of women I had dated at that point. Still, when I was about ready to leave, she kissed me again.
The last time she kissed me, which was about 7 years ago, she put her hand around the back of my head and full on french kissed me.
And even when I think about that memory, there's still some sense of odd excitement in there. I don't know why.
I mean, she didn't have enough access to me in order to groom me. But I had been groomed by my foster mother, years before this line of events even happened.
Strange thing is that it really doesn't bother me. Which is bizarre, why doesn't it bother me? I know it should! Yet I don't feel guilty thinking about it, I don't feel regret, if anything I feel stimulated. Which is all sorts of wrong. Yet the memories do come up from time to time. Not really bothersome.
The question is why?
If you see a comment that is unsupportive or unfriendly, please report it using the flag button.
More Posts
-
.
When I was about 4 or 5 an older family member (i'm too scared to say who because i don't want them to see this) made me play this "game" with me wher...
-
Not everyone is who you think they are.
It was the summer I had just turned 18. It all happened 4 days after my birthday and I was still in high school. I had gone to multiple parties before but I onl...
You enjoyed the erotic attention too much for this experience to be regretful.
Reply