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Why i know the things I do
5 months ago · · Insight,
Hi! So I know that sometimes, it can be a bit creepy when someone tries to actually SEE you. To see the suffering behind the words, being able to empathize with the pain. Being able to rationalize the feelings of hurt that you are struggling with.
Sometimes, we want people to notice, but we don't really want them to see US. You know? Just enough to be heard, but kept away in the shadows.
And there's unlimited amounts of reasons as to why this occurs, sometimes it's a self identity thing, or it's because we feel too far gone to be seen or whatever the case may be.
So why can I see you? And how do I do it so easily?
In fact, I'm sure many people I've tried to help have asked themselves this question or some offshoot thereof.
I can't fully explain the reasons as to why I'm able to see into people now. It's something still rather new to me, though it wasn't something I gained without effort. Rather quite the opposite.
I've endured a lot of really nasty pain in this existence, and it has taken me well over 3 decades to finally be at a place where I'm finally beginning to move forward.
It took nearly 2 years of very intense studying and a lot of over analysis, combined with an inexplicable amount of self loathing and some of the worst degrees of depression one could imagine.
Essentially, I dug my way to the very bottom of my psyche. Saw how things worked and interacted, saw things I'd rather not ever mention too.
Yet in the end, I found a very strong sense of clarity. That's when this really started turning around. Suddenly it wasn't just me alone in the world, even though I've kept myself isolated and quarantined as if that were the case.
In this beautiful epiphany, it was as if I could see through the eyes of God for a moment. I can safely say that if there is a God, I know why human beings are his favorite creation now. It's not hard to see at all.
In this insight, there was a massive overall picture. But the details went all the way down as well. So I got this encompassing, intricate, detailed view of everyone here. I know that may sound supernatural or like some sort of "psychic" claim but it's not.
It was never my machinations, I don't own these things. They were given to me and I paid dearly to get them. Though, I will say that this wasn't what I had in mind when I began this journey. I never thought that this would be the reward, my only concern was finding love and in a very big way, though not the way that I wanted, I had found it.
I can relate to almost any person, almost any trauma, almost any pain. I'm old enough to have seen it once or twice, to have experienced it for myself.
And you know, after having this grand scale epiphany, my purpose became clear to me. I wanted, no I needed, to help bring balance where I can, to anyone willing to listen to my ramblings.
I've had several people tell me that the advice I give is the best they've ever gotten. There's a reason for that. Because I'm not seeing some empty text on a screen, or some absent call for attention.
I see the person, behind the problem. I can step into your shoes and I can weather the storm of your mind because I've seen it before. I've endured it.
The experiences are different, but the overall feelings and scars left behind are largely the same. Though each one requires a bit of personal touch and understanding. That's something I offer.
I worry whether people actually take my advice but I try to be realistic about it. It's not in my control. I will never say that you absolutely must do this unless I know for a fact that it's in your best interest. I will never try to manipulate you into trying, but I won't hesitate to point out flaws either.
Obviously, it can be taken very personally. Though I do my best to make that aspect not so personally focused because my intention isn't ever to cause harm.
I genuinely care and I genuinely hope that it shows in how I come across, though I still have flaws. I'm not perfect by any means and sometimes my words can get skewed.
I know I shouldn't take it personally myself, but it does hurt when my words get twisted. Though it's a sad reality of consciousness. What means one thing to me, may mean something completely different to someone else and I do my best to respect that.
Because at the end of the day, all I want is to help you find balance. Something I've struggled with myself. I want people to be able to feel the joy and love and happiness that they seek.
It's a very simple concept, really. I expect you to do what's right for you. Whether you will or won't is beyond my control. But that doesn't stop the desire to hopefully give you insight, tools or advice that just might be a turning point in your life.
That's all that I want for you. That's why I know the things that I do. It's why I see you. Because I genuinely care about you, even if you don't particularly care about me.