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it has been really difficult, trying to fight back the memories and the feelings we once shared, trying to forgive and forget you at the same time. It’s all just a constant battle with what I really want for myself, and I dread it. I hate to still be in pain when the person who caused this is already too carelessly happy, living their life beyond the misfortunes of their past. It’s a pity how I’ve always loved too much so that when I’m left behind, I have nothing left to offer to myself because I let people take away all that I am and all I am able to share.
I hate how every night, as well as every waking day, I have to keep questioning why I have to be the one who endures the most pain when all I ever did was give all I could to someone to make them feel worthy of being loved. Why is it more painful for the one who only ever did good things? Why is pain greater for the one who has loved the most?
The truth is that I am scared—no, I am terrified. I currently have too many questions left unanswered to risk falling in love again.
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