he's never gonna like me

[me]

it was camouflage day at school so if you want you can dress out of uniform and wear camo clothes, etc. i assumed he would participate since he's into airsoft (which i assume requires some camo gear or something).

he walks into zero period and when i take one glance, i felt excitement in my stomach- no. crap. no. we're supposed to feel NOTHING when we see him.

he looks so good out of school uniform. baggy ish camo pants with those cool pockets (kinda like jrotc pants but not really). a hunter green shirt that has a cool design "freedom is never free". he wore different shoes today, but still black - he usually wears these old school black converse styled ones but today he wore nike running shoes - i know this because sometimes i look down for a sec when i walk by him and notice his shoes. what made him seem extremely cool was that he wasn't wearing his usual mask but one of those "performance activity" masks and it looked sickkkk.

i really liked his pants. his outfit in general, even if i didn't have feelings for him - so i decided that i should compliment him.

we have the same class after. he's in front of me and kinda talking to his friends while walking into the classroom. i kinda slow down my walking and look at his eyes, down at his outfit, and back to his eyes, "I like your pants."

and walk to my seat.

if i was my own best friend, i would be hysterically laughing right now.

i don't think he said anything. i don't even know if he heard me. crap- why did i even speak- why did i even have to just- UGH

the human memory sucks but i think we made eye contact when i made my comment? agh this is frustrating. i don't know if he heard me or not, but i made SURE i would be heard by him, but not by his friends.

he probably thought i was weirdly talking to myself like some freak. nice.

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[him - what he probably thought]

_(my name)__'s so weird. why does she act like that... so awkward and indecisive. kinda weird. she passed by me and i couldn't tell if she was mumbling to herself or tried talking to someone. but it's whatever i don't really care.

whenever i accidentally make eye contact with her, she either looks back or was looking and looks away. freak.