Paranoia working it's way back

I thought I was over it. Though it was finally going away but boom! Back to being really paranoid over nothing. At one point it was really bad, I thought people were staring at me every time I went outside. I began to hide away and was scared I was being watched through the lights on my ceiling. I thought I was being gassed from under my bed and taken advantage of. I thought my boyfriend was trying to poison me.

This went on for about a month then finally I slowly started to come back to my senses. I was okay for a while, couple of months. Now I think it's happening again. I had a dented pack of pringles and refused to eat them incase they had been tampered with and resealed. I've been snooping in my boyfriends phone while he sleeps looking for proof that he's talking bad about me to other people. I think people are judging me when I speak again. I'm worried it's only going to get worse and I'll try to take my life again like I did last time this happened.

It's not fun being scared all of the time. Not wanting to ask for help because you don't know who you can trust. I'm so lost and so scared and I don't know if I can do this all again.