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Been taking my new meds for about a week now, also introduced coffee into the mix as coffee is a stimulant and can help with depression (not directly, but the symptoms caused by depression).
I find myself not feeling quite as badly as normal. Which is a good thing. It's still there, it's still pretty strong but I'm getting some gaps in where I can feel level.
Though the next two issues aren't going to be so easy to tackle, being fear and lethargy. Those are the 2 big ones next to depression.
I'm finding myself caring less about time sinks and more about real world life. Which should be good, but it's weird.
I'm definitely having a very hard time still. That's something I don't expect to change any time soon. I'm trying to study it as I go through this process, though it seems very difficult to do. I'm frequently met with no answers as to why mood shifts from down to up. It just happens.
Why am I trying to figure it out? Because if I can, then I have an absolute answer to the issue. Which gives me a permanent key to be able to get out of it. Plus, what if it's something that others can use as well? Who wouldn't want that kind of information?
You see, there's a line that gets crossed in between depression and action. Stray too far to one side and you venture into depression, stray too far to the other side and you venture into action.
Why do I focus on this one aspect? Because that's one of the things that makes depression debilitating, is the involuntary lethargy that results. It's also one of the major contributors to staying in a depressed state, a cycle. You fail to act, you hate yourself, you feel even worse than before and it keeps going like that.
On the opposite end, you act and get things done and while this isn't a "cure" for depression, it does alleviate one of the major factors. So the question is where is that line drawn? Or rather, which lines impact it the most.
The most obvious lines being accomplishments, love, connection/acceptance and environment.
These are very broad terms that decide what category each experience falls into, with virtually unlimited lines underneath. Each person will value certain aspects more than others.
Like for myself, i value things like affection, romance, meaningful actions with measurable success, and I admittedly enjoy the scent of some flowers or like freshly mowed grass. Different aspects of experience that fall under these basic guidelines.
Why focus so heavily on this? Because by knowing these things, you can aspire to create a more welcome experience for yourself which directly conflicts with most depression symptoms.
Just this one aspect can drastically change how depression impacts you. Especially if you're suffering from severe depression.
Again, it's not a "cure". But it doesn't hurt either. You may still have issues with not feeling connected to others even though you know you are, or sometimes depression just seems to have no reason at all.
But for the vast majority of those who do suffer with it, this is where the line is. In essence, figuring this out and finding a balance could in turn, help thousands of people.
None of that false motivation or fake it until you make it nonsense. Real, measurable information that produces results. That's what I'm after.
Admittedly, by clinging to this, I make things far harder on myself but I can't control it. It's something my mind is absolutely determined to do. I have to know how these lines are drawn, and I'm getting close. There's just a ton of grey area that I can't define.
This all has connections based in Freudian psychology, new age psychology, personality theory, love languages, fundamental personality traits, and a swath of other areas that venture into spirituality and consciousness. Needless to say, I'm well versed in this battle. If anyone can figure it out, it's going to be me.
Why? Because I understand the depths of depression in it's entirety. Experienced it all for myself. So it's been a battle from the very, very bottom to where I am today.
The only missing keys are that of action and courage. I believe these to be the 3 major components of depression. Unlock all 3 and the only thing that remains is when depression happens for no reason.
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