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I'm not sure who I can even tell this because I don't want to overreact and make stuff awkward or if I'm not overreacting, face it. I've always liked hanging out with my dad because we're extremely alike, and when we do especially more and more recently, I just get this feeling like a weird anxious feeling that he's attracted to me. He can be a bit egotistical, although maybe he just does that to joke idk maybe he likes me too much because I remind him of himself. I'm gonna list some stuff. Some of these things have been brought to mind by examining these others I've always been wary of.
So when I was a bit younger, I'd ask my dad to scratch my back, and he did, but I'd always get tense because he stretched down to where my panties start, and it makes me very anxious because when I was younger, and older boy slid his hand down their and mabie that's why I felt weird about it. Now I don't ask him to do that stuff. Another red flag was when my older sister turned 16 on her birthday, and my dad told her this story: that he saw her leaving the bathroom after a shower naked when she thought no one was there, and he thought she had grown into a real woman. My mom just scolded him by saying his name, so I thought maybe that's okay to say? When we go hiking, we stay at a hotel, and he always gets a room with one bed and thinking about it now, why doesn't he just get two beds? I never like to sleep with him because I just feel scared he's attracted to me, so last time, I just slept on the couch.
My dad one time joked that I was his wife to the checkout guy when he asked if he was shopping with his daughter. He's been calling me hun a lot recently, I think by accident which he's only ever called my mom, and he doesn't correct himself. He told me this week if he was much younger, he'd date me, and I said, and you weren't my dad, right? And he's said ya geez, come on, don't make me sound weird.
And the reason I'm writing this is that we went biking together yesterday, and there was this terrifying moment where he just stared at me, and neither of us said anything, and it was fuking scary. It was like five seconds long, and I had to say something, so I said, ug, I don't want to bike back, and it stopped. I'm trying to tell myself he was looking at me because he was proud of his daughter, but it felt like he wanted to kiss me. I DON'T WANT THAT. I just want a dad! Please don't be true. please don't be true. I'm not trying to make this sound like more than it was; I was genuinely uncomfortable and scared of what he was thinking.
He's a Christian in Seminary, so I don't think he would do something to me, but the fact he might be attracted to me is like being told his love for me was never what I thought it was, and that's terrifying and gross. I'm scared, though. I really need as many opinions as possible, and I want to ask my sister if she thought dad was ever a bit creepy, but I want to know your genuine reaction to this before I overreact and mess up my 17-year-old life.
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Ask him what goals in life heโd like to see you achieve like having a bf, get married, kids, enjoy life, travel etc
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I REALLY do not like the sound of that. He seems very very creepy to me. I really hate to say this but I think that your suspicions are true. All of his behavior is extremely inappropriate, especially that comment he said to your sister about becoming a women. Thats disgusting and I hate that you think it's okay. It's not. I want to gag. No man would be looking at their daughter and thinking like that.
I suggest you tell your mom ASAP. Tell her that he makes you uncomfortable and creeps you out. Tell her all the reasons and give her all the examples you wrote here. If you can get your sister to back you up, do it. If she does nothing or doesn't believe you (or brushes you off), you need to tell someone else trusted who can help you. This is not appropriate, don't accept this for yourself. You deserve way better.
ReplyI know how you feel, families can be creepy sometimes. My grandpa was a prevert and it messed me up thinking every adult was a child molester. Maybe try staying away from your dad? I mean maybe he doesn't mean harm but just to be safe
ReplyI think maybe you should talk to ur mom about this if you can. Maybe distancing yourself from ur dad and avoid being alone with him. Good luck stay safe.
ReplyI think he is being totally weird and the fact that he jokes about such things like calling you his wife or the fact that he saw your sis naked isn't normal at all ... I'd just advice that don't stay with him alone make sure there is someone else with u and you are 17 maybe hang around more with your friends rather than going out with him specially when it's gonna be only him and you .. and if it gets out of hand just tell your mother .. stay strong girl ๐
ReplyI would recommend staying away from your dad and slowly distancing yourself from him. If it gets worse, talk about it with your mother or another adult. I understand you want a normal relationship with your dad but the kind of things you wrote on here is very strange for anyone to do. I mean, maybe he doesn't mean to be creepy but makes it that way? However, if it is making you uncomfrotable, you have to take action. I know for a fact you are not overreacting. If I was in your place I would feel weird too.
ReplyThis is not normal things to say to a daughter, especially saying he would date you if you were not his daughter. The fact that he thinks about that is just weird... there is a small chance that he doesn't mean any harm. I suggest talking to your sister about it because she seems to have some experience with your dads words as well. If both of you feel uncomfrotable, tell your mom. The fact that he even joked about you being his wife is messed up... what dad would say that even as a joke. Please try to distance yourself and not hang out with him alone. If you feel weird around him, that could be your gut instincts telling you somethings wrong. I tried my best to answer this, idk if you will see it though. Anyway, good luck.
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