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I will see this again in the morning when I will wake up as usual completely not crying and somewhat better.
My entire body aches and all I want to do is cry. I have a lump in my throat i feel too warm. I feel stressed and am having a hard time breathing. I am angry and exhausted I don’t like sleeping. I want to sleep but everytime I think that i just stamp my feet and smack my arms and legs on my bed. I feel like I am in control but i am not. I am breathing fast my mouth id dry and i feel sick. Maybe I want my mom to come but she is tired too. I don’t wsnt to burden her with this. She did come when I started crying, I told her i just feel like this sometimes, frustraed and angry. Sbe knows this and tries to ask me if i want something. She wants to help me but i know she is tired. She wants me to not feel this miserable when i get like this but I feel super bad about being like this. She tries tk make me laugh, I do a through my tears but tell her to go and sleep after telling i will cry. She ask me ehat is ghe point of crying and i say i just can’t help and that I don’t have a reason or something. She tells me she loves me and i say it back but now it is dark again and all i can do is cry and groan. I feel physical pain my back is sore and I don’t know shy I think i having a panick attack iam to tired to type my fingers are slipping. I feel like vomiting but i hate that to, it isn’t easy gor me to do that . I feel like i want help but thN i send people away. I feel nauseous.
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Does anyone know why i feellllk this way please, it happens a lot with me , i hate self diagnosing because it stresses me out but i want answrss i wake up exhausted i hate sleeping but i know i need it , i want to be angry I don’t like anything, i know that i will wake up not caring about this my eyes hurt from the screen and i want to puke i need sleep but i hate it.
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Hello, I just read what you wrote. I'm sorry you're experiencing that, that sounds terrible. I'm not sure what the cause is but my guess would be you're experiencing panic attacks. Panic attacks can be very different for different people. I have anxiety and I used to occasionally experience a sudden sensation of immense fear and helplessness accompanied by chills, shivering, hyperventilation and sometimes crying. I used to think those were just some weird sudden anxiety spurt that feels horrible but I shouldn't worry about, because I thought that panic attacks were the same for everyone and you needed to have extreme anxiety or some other condition to experience them but I've learned that that is not true and I suspect what I experienced was panic attacks. While it's much more likely for someone with panic disorder, severe anxiety, or PTSD to have panic attacks, even people with no mental conditions can experience them when under high stress. My point is that panic attacks don't always look the way we expect them to. Of course, I wasn't there with you so I don't know for sure if what you're experiencing are panic attacks or not, but it's likely. And either way, that sounds awful and I'm sorry this is happening.
It sounds like your mom cares about you a lot and wants to help. That's great, you should ask her if you can talk to a psychiatrist/therapist about this. Your mom loves you, you aren't burdening her by asking for help. She wants you to feel better, don't feel bad about asking for help. I feel bad about asking my parents for help too, I always feel like I'm burdening them, but I remember that when my friends ask me for help, I don't feel burdened at all. Because I care about them and I WANT to help them, it's not a burden at all. So try to remember that. Hope things get better for you
ReplyThanks for the response. It is kind of strange as when I wake up the next day, I can’t remember why I was feeling like that. I even wake up fresh as though i never felt that way to begin with. So maybe I just need to write down these patterns to understand why. Thanks for your help and advice, it really makes me feel better.
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