A letter for you

Dear _,

I am not really sure how to start this, but you know that I am bi right? XD What I am going to say next may or may not come as a shock to you. Through the past year that we started getting to know each other, I started to fall for you slowly (still falling deeper). As unintentionally as it was, I didn’t even realize it until a couple months ago. It wasn’t an overnight or a sudden realization. I slowly noticed through the months that I’d have the biggest grin on my face whenever we would text, and even when I am gaming or not in the mood to text, when I see a notification from you, I’d drop everything to reply. There’s never a time when I didn’t feel comfortable talking to you because you are such an accepting and warm person once I got to know you. I also always find myself thinking about you and wanting to spend time with you (virtually or physically). It also warms my heart that you, a person who doesn’t really use social media, would take your time to reply to my spams and random messages. Getting to know you is such a beautiful process for me. I feel like I would never stop being amazed by how beautiful a human being you are despite all the things you would consider a flaw about yourself (although they aren’t), like your overthinking. I find myself wanting to be there for you and to support you through the moments you feel tired and worried about different stuff. I want to reassure you that you are an amazing person and that you shouldn’t worry about comparing yourself to your sister or anyone: you are your own unique self. There are also times where I imagine myself in a future with you. We definitely wouldn’t be one of those couples who flaunt our love in public annoyingly. We’d be the type to be content in our own little world with my head on your shoulder, whether it be in silence or me talking about random stuff and you listening to me. When we are working on our own stuff, I’d be content with just your presence (like how I’d come sit near you in your homeroom in grade 10 cuz no one was in mine). And, I’d be the first to go to bed (cuz u know, sleep early, rise early ;) ) and just find myself subconsciously snuggling into you when you come to bed as well. When you came to [-]’s for a hangout, hanging out and talking with you was the highlight of the day. I was nervous for real, but I think I hid that well enough? My heart that hasn’t raced in, god knows how long always races for you. And god, when you smile (the one you call a half-smile), I find myself melting because you have such a beautiful smile: it’s like you glow when you are happy. I really am in love with you. To be honest, I never planned to confess to you through a letter like this or at all this year. As confident as I usually am with a lot of occasions, I’m still afraid of the idea of you actually reading this… I really did not want to burden you with my feelings when you are leaving for a fresh start, and you have so much to focus on. But, I thought I would regret never telling you someday and wonder about the what-ifs.  I understand that we will sometimes be super busy with our own lives, but I am willing to overcome any hardships that come our way as long as I am with you. So, what’s coming next maybe selfish of me to ask, but would you be willing to be my girlfriend and mine alone? <3 (You don’t have to worry about my feelings and nothing has to change.)

Love,

- (2021)