Vulnerable, Doctors and Health

Im not healthy. It is health problems after health problems. It makes me wonder if my body even wants me alive at this point.

To the doctors out there. Why are you so heartless? Why cant you calmly explain my issue to me so that i can understand even if it is a small issue to you? Why shout at me to accept it and even accuse me of not eating my medication? Why when i tell you something doesnt feel right with my body, you tell me that what i feel is invalid? I just want to have a calm and peacefull meeting with a doctor for once in my life. Im already so stressed from long hours in the waiting room anxiously wondering if im getting better or worse and i come out wondering if it is better if i take my life than see my body develop more and mire problems. I know im being ungrateful and cancer patients have it worst. But i just want to be well and able to do things. Im so young and i dont want to have to eat so much medication.