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Thinking about having sex with my boyfriend makes me wanna cry. it's not him rlly it's just... idk. it stresses me out and it's overwhelming. I know I'm not asexual which is why it's weird. I want to do it with him but I also don't. I want to be ready but I'm not and I don't know why. why am I not???? how do I make myself be ready? hes not pushy or anything but I still feel bad about it.. I know he wants to even though he doesn't directly say anything about it. uugghhh what's wrong with meee I feel bad and I don't wanna keep him waiting.. yknow..
I reaaaalllyyy don't want to talk about it because that would be such an uncomfortable conversation. This is embarrassing just writing about it on here, I can't imagine bringing it up irl. I really want to do it but every time we get to the actually doing it part.... it's scary.. I freak out and can't handle it. I don't want him to feel bad and think it's because of him (bcuz I think he does...) and I don't want to lead him on either so I'm just stuck. He always apologizes profusely after and asks if I'm okay and if he did something too fast etc. I just say no and avoid the topic but I feel bad about it
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You should try to talk about it even if it's uncomfortable
ReplyAs always, especially with this site, my first question would be how old are you? Because if you're under the age of 16, you shouldn't be having sex. That would explain why you feel like freaking out too, your mind knows it's wrong.
On the off chance that you're older than 16. Biggest suggest I can make would be to take things slowly. Build up to it. Try to get into the moment and go with it so your mind isn't so preoccupied with all these anxieties.
ReplyHey, i also faced the same issue. We were in a relationship for about 5 years. He kissed me whenever he could, but i didn't feel anything..i was confused with my feelings. I tried to convince myself that i m having pleasure but it's like a vacuum in my heart. He even tried to do force fully on the day of our breakup, he was hurt inside and tears were rolling down from his eyes....but i didn't know why i didn't feel any emotion towards him....i m not asexual, i hope so...bcz i m still virgin and single and though i love man, but it isn't still confirmed....i never confessed him that all the time i was faking....i just don't know...may be i didn't meet the choosen one for me yet who can break the emotional barrier for me....anyway, you should talk about it with him...before its too late because both your times will waste in that way...my ex told me, if he could knew it earlier then he wouldn't waste so many years with me....because i was afraid and didn't want to hurt him, but not speaking about my feelings did the most harm. So discuss with him.
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