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I hate how my body is. Fat. Big. Weird. I'm lonely even in a room of 100 people. My best friend hates me and my new friend is toxic and my other friend is drifting away... Everyone is judging me. I am trying to be the perfect daughter for my dad. Im trying to be the perfect student. Im trying to be perfect for everyone but everyone says im failing. My dad yells at me all the time. I cry my self to sleep. I am eating less and starving more... Im jealous because everyone has someone crushing on them while everyone things im weird and obnoxious. I see everyone hanging out while im always the one left out. I show everyone im 100% ok and love my self but break down in tears.. I don't like telling my feelings face to face then i break down in tears.. It is so so so hard and i cant figure out how to make it easier.. On top of it my sister is this skinny girl everyone loves so much.. My cousin wants to kill himself.. Im all alone and i feel hopeless.. I just want to know what to do...
It has taken me awhile to post this...
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Coming from a stranger on the internet, this probably means nothing, but here I go- I am so so proud of you for coming to realization with/and posting this. I understand all of the feelings that you're having right now a little too well, and my advice? Be who you want to be. Okay, before you assume that I'm another mindless optimist, let me explain. All of the setbacks you're facing right now are creating personal experiences for you. It shapes who you are- and your ideals. There's a whole planet populated by individuals who aren't you, so why aim to be anyone else? Your body and mind are yours- off-limits to anyone else. So I everyone who says otherwise can kick it. I hope your year finishes nicely- sending hope your way!
ReplyI'm pretty sure I misspelled something in that paragraph- please ignore that.
ReplyListen, I fell head over heels for a bigger girl. I'm big too. Whats inside matters most. She showed me sweet love even though I wasnt really mature at that point. She was the biggest girl I ever dated and I loved her the most. Size dont matter. A lot of people, including myself, like girls that are the heavier side. Dont let social media get to you. Love goes far and beyond whats being shown now a days.
ReplyGo easy on yourself first of all. you can't nor will you ever be perfect nor is it your job to please everybody. If at all possible be there for your cousin let them know you care for them. Body wise if it's really bothering you perhaps try to do some things to lose weight. Nobody says you have to though it's your choice. You need to think though will losing weight make you happy or is it for health reasons or both. Some of what you're going through is relatable. Just be yourself go easy on yourself and try to quit stressing. You did a good job posting this that shows you're stronger than you think xx
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