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It happened so suddenly one night three years ago. That's when the fighting began, I hated it. Now it's even worse I'm just 13 and so much is building up on me. It's not fair. Both my parents want my siblings and I to stay with them and I want to stay with both of them. A few months ago my father threatened to kill my mother right in front of me, my 10 year old brother and 5 year old sister and brother. Ever since that day I've never looked at him the same way. I wanna live with both my mom and dad but I feel like being with my mom will be great for her mental health. I'm so much happier with my mom but with my dad I feel alone as much as I wanna live with my mom I can't bear to think of my dad without his children or without seeing us do great things. From what I've observed my mom cares for us so much more than my dad. This is too much for me I just wanna escape this reality and not come back. All this led to something and something led to another and now I use self harm as a coping mechanism. I rarely bond with my dad but my mom and I are like besties. I'm just worried about my mom's mental health because she has so much going on in her life and it hurts me to see her hurting.
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This sounds terrible, I’m sorry you have to deal with this because none of it is your fault. Based on what you said, it sounds like your father is unbalanced and dangerous. Probably best for everyone to live with your mother. Threatening murder (in front of children even) is major screwed up. Maybe after they split and if you’re with your mom things will quiet down and you won’t be pressed to self harm anymore :(
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