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Aw God. I hate liking people. This ain't a big deal, I have much worse going on with me now, but you know, there's that slight disappointment lurking over there side by side with the more serious, messed up stuff that are ruining my life. I used to admire some person, then I've just now known that they've been married for like 3 or 4 years. Lowkey disappointing, not gonna lie. I had a terrible experience before when I told some then friends about a person I'd liked back then, they used to mock me nonstop about it, and that overall hurt me, so now I introduce my admiration to people as a joke so they don't mess with me for how I feel, therefore I can't fully express how I reflect on this one with any of my homies. I'm feeling like there's a hole in me chest. No doubt it's gonna get better soon but yeah for now I'm feeling like :") about it and just needed to comfortably and explicitly express that without needing to use humor and fake giggles to mask my true feelings.
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