What are you looking for?
5 months ago · · Need Advice,
I am really confused because if I'll be honest, not even once have I felt like I had a true calling. But I joined in architecture. When I was a kid, I wanted to be part of fashion industry, wanted to somehow bring my ideas to surface of reality. I thought I can do the same thing but in a different method and i.e, through architecture. I also wanted to pursue music because I know I can sing well with good vocal training and music theory knowledge. But things never worked to pave way for singing or fashion. Architecture was honestly unexpected. But I decided to pursue it. Now, with great effort, I completed my first year. But the last few days were absolutely strenuous. I piled up and procrastinated all my work up to the last minute. I believe I have a potential in creations, and coming up with ideas and every thing I do, I try to fetch meaning in it. That's why I was able to survive. But these days, I keep doubting myself a lot. Is architecture worth it? Is it my true calling? Do I really like what I do? Or am I just following the herd? Where does my true passion lie? What am I doing all of this for? I keep doubting my purpose and potential. So many other things like past crushes, past stuff keep coming into my mind and they bother me. I honestly didn't know if it's my true calling, and I still don't. But I can't back out. I have to continue and finish what I started. I have to take responsibility and the effort for the choices I made. I have to move forward with this career and work hard and better than my past self. I have to beat my past irresponsible self. I don't know my true purpose but some path has already been set. So I have to pick up whatever strengths I find in this path and find my purpose. That's the point. Waking up early? Giving up on junk food to be healthy? Proper sleep? Punctuality in work? Have to socialize with people and learn and gain tools? I'll do whatever my body needs and in return, I will use this body to find my purpose. I have to. I have to. I should do this right?
P.s. thanks for taking the time to read this whole crap about me hehe. Do drop some quick tips or life advices. I'll be more than happy haha
I want you to know that your existence is a BLESSING. Maybe not for everyone, but definitely to me. Enough of positivity. I hope you have the strength to deal with your issues. I know it's not all cupcakes and butterflies. Fighting!!!!