I honestly hate the medical system as it exists right now

Nothing in my life has gone right. Between having cancer at the age of 3, needing to have a transplant at 7, figuring out that I'm gay in my early teens when I fell in love with my best friend who I finally admitted to a few years ago and was rejected, and now I need another fucking transplant that I may or may not be able to get since I've already used up my goddamn "transplant card". It's just fucking bullshit that even when you have medical complications that are of no fault of yourself, just predispositioned genetic code, you're automatically placed lower on subsequent transplant lists. It's like the medical system is giving up on you because you're too much work and they can't spare the resources, so they just give up on keeping you alive. As long as I can't remember, I've always been depressed but knowing that the people I used to trust to do what was best for me and I once thought as an extension of family are now turning a blind eye to what I'm going through... Not only does it hurt now, but it also hurts that it reveals that their "concern and care" was just a fucking act back then