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This is becoming a habit… Crying every night is becoming a habit. I’ve had chronic depression for about a decade now, and it hits me hard from time to time but lately it’s been an everyday thing. I don’t mean feeling sad. That’s been my norm for years. I mean getting lost in my bad thoughts. Making me resent myself, making me feel like the world would be better off if I’d just grow the balls to hung myself. Every night it brings tears to my eyes, and I’m really tired. I don’t sleep most nights and then I sleep for more than half a day and I wake up tired. And I really am tired of it all. No one, no one deserves someone like me in their lives. My parents don’t deserve my sad attitude all the time, my brother doesn’t deserve my keeping to myself all the time making him feel like he doesn’t have a brother, my friends don’t deserve to have to put effort into getting me out of the house, my girlfriend doesn’t deserve being with someone who isn’t happy even though he’s with her… I am tired of it all. I really, really want it to end but I guess I’m not even good for that.
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