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I want to have a crush on someone new. I want to fall so madly in love with someone that I forget about you entirely. I want them to be so much better than you that I can't even imagine how I ever thought you were perfect. I want to fall deep into love with them and I don't care how bad it turns out. I just want the feelings I have for you to end.
I don't want to stay up at night thinking about you. Any tiny thought of you sets my heart racing for the rest of the day and I can't relax. I writhe with discomfort as my head fills with unwanted fantasies about winning your heart. In each rare moment of peace I am haunted by every tiny mistake I made and wondering which one is the one that did it.
I try so hard to let go of you and move on and I'm almost there but I'm so scared of what lies ahead. I don't know where I'm going next. I can't think of one thing that I want in life. It's just you. That's the only thing I know for sure. I like you. I want to see you. I want to hear you. It makes me happy. It makes me so, so happy.
I want to find someone else who can make me feel that way and I'm so scared I never will. I'm scared it's just a you thing. Now I'm trying to be poetic here and think of the next thing to say but I'm just so fed up feeling this way. I'm just a mess. I'm just falling apart and not letting it show but I'm a mess. I've never been through this before. I don't know what to do. I don't want to do anything. I don't want any outcome. I don't know. What is the word for how I feel right now? Words are never enough no matter what I write. I'm so confused and clueless. Every option I have is a mistake. I'm so afraid to move on but even more afraid to try and speak to you again. I'm lost. So lost. Nobody has the advice that I need. I thought I knew but I don't. I'm so confused.
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I don't if I'll be able to help you much, honey. But look, it's you who decide who to like and who to not. The decision is in your hands. You like him and you seem to be not able to do anything about that. I know this is hard. But love, you have to let go. Unrequited love does nothing but hurt you. You may not find a person who makes you feel what he made you feel. But I'm sure you'll find a person who's better than him and who'll make you feel far more greater than how he made you feel. Just move on. I know it's harder to do than to say. But that's what will free you and that's what gets you a new start. You're lost. Don't wait for somebody to come and find you. Find a way out yourself. That's what makes you stronger and harder. Remember, liking someone else doesn't make you forget the one you liked before. It never will. Instead of trying to like somebody else, try to let go. You can't do anything about that, so just let go. Have a beautiful, strong life, dear. :)
ReplyThank you for the thoughtful response. I have been trying to move on but, never having been through this before, it's sometimes hard to trust that I'm going in the right direction. Even when I can get this person out of my mind I still feel it in my body. My heart is racing and my chest is tight and it seems like no matter how much I tell myself it's time to let go I have this constant sense of unfinished business that I just can't shake. I guess I have to trust that if I keep trying, eventually this feeling will die down and I will see clearly that it was right to let go and not to pursue things further.
Replyagree with the suggestion. "I'm sure you'll find a person who's better than him and who'll make you feel far more greater than how he made you feel. Just move on"
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