Stressed out

Swear man it feels like I've been going insane the last while. I have a good job . I'm very talented at what I do musically. Honestly though it just feels like everything is blocking my paths. I dunno how to even explain. I can't stop going out and partying when it always sets me back. I spend days feeling bitter and depressed about things. Negative energies all the time. I'm living in a pure dodgy dump of a house with to people who wouldn't be considered upstanding citizens either. My best mate died two years ago still haven't delt with that. Now my mums dying and my parents live in a different country. I just never pictured life would be like this. I'm lonely you know. And I don't understand it because for the most part I shouldn't feel like that I have some real friends and siblings but some things missing. I just want a nice place. To continue with my music and maybe a girl that'll make me feel happy again. And for everyone I care about to be happy and healthy. There's always some sort of problem popping up and I don't want to feel like I'm doing this life thing on my own anymore. Just need to move this boulder out of my path. Pressures from all different angles right now.