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1 year ago · · Narcissistic Abuse,
I may have become bored of girl-to-girl relationship ships. An ex-partner of mine messaged me the other day to ask about couples who will end up together in a show that I was watching. She only asked about certain female characters with other female characters. I did not reply right away because I was a little annoyed. I replied with a vague response (without providing spoilers) a few days later.
I realized that I don't like communicating with her anymore. I have been trying to be diplomatic. I have been traumatized by her and by our relationship. I didn't like myself when I was with her.
I don't want to say that I have regrets but I do. I regret being in a relationship with someone like her when I was a person with a lot of unresolved issues and insecurities. She was (or maybe still is) having a similar problem.
I remember being told by her that she felt that she was regressing psychologically and she was implying that it was because of my breakdowns (which were related to my childhood trauma). This was before I consulted with a psychologist about my childhood trauma and everything else about myself. After several sessions with my counselor, she advised me to research about narcissism or narcissistic personality disorders as she was relating it to her observation of how my former partner acted when we were together.
It took me several months before I realized that my former partner has narcissistic traits. I consider myself as a person with a relatively high level of empathy. After further research, I was able to understand why it was very difficult for both of us to be in a relationship. A person with a high level of narcissism and a person with a high level of empathy will usually have a toxic relationship.
I have been slowly limiting my communication with her. I have become less and less interested in her and her existence. My frustration is slowly turning into indifference.