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I feel like my grandparents don't care about me.
I don't want to sound ungrateful. They sent me a check for my birthday and it was very generous of them, but I would have been happier if they had called or wrote something else on the card than "wow, you've grown up a lot!" or "hope to see you soon."
Because I won't see them soon. I see them five times a year. Christmas, and my younger cousin's birthday parties.
Mom's parents divorced when she was a kid. My grandma Ann has borderline personality disorder and my mom doesn't get on too well with her, but they at least try to make it work. Grandma Ann has made it clear that she loves all her grandkids even if she's going through a difficult time mental health wise.
My mom's dad (My grandpa John) remarried and had two kids with his second wife, grandma Jenny.
Jenny and John are the ones who I'm talking about here. They live about half an hour away, yet we rarely see them. I have about three great memories with them and they all happened when I was little. Then they stopped coming around as much. As I've grown up, I've come to realize that they are drifting.
They rarely interact with me, my brother, or our cousin Amber (my mom's full sister's kid). However, they are constantly with their son's (my mom's half brothers) kids, seeing them multiple times a week.
I'm convinced that they hardly know us at all. To them, my brother is a weird quirky kid, Amber is a good Christian girl (they interact with Amber a little more than me and my brother, I suspect because she's easier for them to think they understand), and I'm someone who did a theater production that they went to once (the only thing we ever talk about is school and if I'm doing a play).
I don't like bringing things back to gifts, but they are some of the only interactions I have with them. When I was younger, they would give me generic Christmas gifts and whatnot and that was okay. Not everyone wants to go all out for the holidays and I get that. Still, it's kind of hard to see that now they just send a check and a supermarket card and call it good. I don't want their money or their gifts. I want their time.
The last time they spent time with me without my younger cousins around was two or three years ago.
I know it's silly, but I want them to be proud of me (and my mom and aunt for having great families despite not having good role models growing up). They talk about my little cousin's soccer games, accomplishments, and everything they do. But when it comes to us, it took Amber getting the biggest award at her Christian school to get them to congratulate her and the only things they remember for my brother and I are a rec league basketball game and that theater production. Yeah I'm a little jealous. I know it's wrong, but I just want them to like me.
It's kind of stupid anyway. They might like me a bit if they tried to know me, but I'd inevitably be purposely forgotten again when I go to college because I'm gay. It's not worth it. I have my grandma Ann, my dad's parents, and my cousin's amazing grandparents who treat me like I'm theirs.
It just stings a bit, you know?
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