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I told you I was cold
You said “you’re always cold”
As if that wasn’t my point
I told you I was dizzy
You said “just sit down”
I apologized for the hair left dead on my pillowcase
You laughed,
And said I was balding at 15
I told you I wasn’t hungry
You replied “you never are”
Only I will ever know how untrue that is
I told you I was dying
You just didn’t listen
You thought I was only cold.
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I, too, am cold right now. But I've seen that not eating and having all of the side effects isn't worth having a super skinny body. I would rather have a healthy skinny body, with maybe some muscles and abs. I started talking to my friends and they helped me pick out a safe, nutritious meal plan. And when I feel like not eating? I call them and they usually coerce me into it. I also write on here. I'm lucky where I don't need to check in to a special facility to get help, although there's nothing wrong with that if you need it. I just needed to figure out why I was doing this, and find a better reason not to. I try to distract myself. For example, I'm learning French and becoming a pretty big fan of old musicals. You just need to find what's right for you. It's hard to come clean, but it's normally the best decision you can make. Who are your people? What's your plan?
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