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I'm in my 2nd year architecture which started 2 weeks back. So much workload in these few days, have to wake up learn driving, got no time to work in the morning because of classes, become lazy and not do them when i have the fucking time, and no energy left when the night comes. I feel very tired of everything. I am aware that I have to handle so many things all at once. I don't even know what I am talking right now. I just wanna have physical classes than online. I don't like it like this. I feel like I am being too lenient on myself when I am at home. I barely do anything to take care of myself or my academics. I don't even wanna make an effort, to eat or drink or take a bath, or study. I just wanna watch anime, read webcomics and stuff. And occasionally rant here when I feel like I have no one to talk to. It's not that I can't handle things by myself, I just don't want to. I want to be a 1st grade kid whining about things and throwing all tantrums. But I can't. I don't know what I am even missing on. I suddenly want those school days where I wake up just to see my crush smile for once. I don't know. I feel so purposeless. I never felt like I ever had a true calling in my life. I don't know what to do, how to start. I just wanna sleep and never wake up. I wish I could just stay like that in nothingness for a while, or isolate myself and not talk to anyone. I am so confused, scared and unable to approach or talk to anyone about it. I am scared of my own loved ones invalidating my feelings. or my mental state. I dunno what I am supposed to do. I haven't felt like an spark or anything igniting in me from the things I do. Brain is become more blank, creative block from months, lathergic feeling all day. I realized motivation and sometimes drive or spite can make you do productive things. I don't even make sense at this point. Here I am, just typing whatever I want here, trying to cope with my confused mind at midnight.
Thanks for reading so far
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hey, I know how you feel. It has happened and sometimes still happens w/ me too. Try to do something you like. For example - in my case - I love dancing. When I feel like dying, dancing is the first thing that comes to mind. The inability to dance. So every day, I wake up and the first thing I'm eager to do is dance. As you stated, during physical school - you were eager to see your crush's smile :)
try to see if you can contact them. Or try going to someone whom you trust.
You say you lack motivation - find something that you like and pick that up as motivation.
If you don't feel like studying - try to set a goal. Like something you would want to achieve in the future once you finish all your studies. And then try to make yourself realise that whatever goal there is to achieve will require your whole-hearted effort in everything you do, which includes studying.
I hope this helps :)
ReplyOne week later, I still feel the same. But thank you : )
I think I somewhat feel like I have to get my shit together now thanks to your advice. I'll try my best to figure things out.
Hope you have a good day :D
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