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My favourite hobby
4 months ago · · Depression,
Baking, because it really is therapeutic.
I was depressed for years. I didn't know I was, until December 2020. Yet, even after knowing, I did nothing. If writing here in Novni for weeks is considered "doing" something, then I have been venting and writing my feelings here. Then, the following month, I both made the wrong and right decision. I tried to ch0ke myself to d3ath using my hands, because I believed only my hands had the right to k1ll me. Before I ran out of breath, my mind flashed an image of my young sister and my mother crying on my d3ath bed and it was the most painful thing I've imagined. From there, I abruptly folded my arms and cried on my bed until I fell asleep with a thought in my mind, "I will talk to someone. I won't die. I can cry everyday, but I will never dare do this again."
After feelings of depression subsided, thanks to my best friend and mother (and to myself, I owe my life too) I decided to let go of the ache through food. I love food even when I was young. So, I asked my mom if she could buy me the ingredients I need. She approved and that's when I started baking. Every after doing tasks at school and here at our home, I watch baking videos and plan my baking adventures for the week. I have made chocolate chip cookies, chocolate and vanilla cupcakes, deep fried donuts and a custard-filled tart. My first attempt on cookies and cupcakes were both a failure, but after many tries, I finally nailed it! The donut was rushed, because my sister said she's very hungry, LOL. And the tart was amazing on my first try!
Through baking, I learned discipline and patience. I figured along the way that these two are important in doing self-love and self-care. I bake for my love ones and that includes me.