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Society is probably the biggest pain in the arse, life following near by.
Society is like an obnoxious nagging relative, telling you how to dress, walk, talk and probably worse, think.
So I’m going to tell you how I think and I bet you sure as hell society will disagree.
I think empathy isn’t real. No matter what the other person has felt, they can never feel the same as me. Empathy is foolish. No matter what, everyone will be sympathetic. Not empathetic.
I also think society should stop telling them what to do. We are in charge of our own bodies and mind, we should be accepted.
I hate pitiful gazes, I hate it when people act like they know everything, hypocrisy, feeling trapped and feeling unworthy.
So now, I’m going to tell you about my “disorder”. No, I haven’t been to a doctor and been diagnosed. But society will be pissed if I don’t call it a disorder.
I talk to people that aren’t there. I smile randomly when a stray thought enters my mind. I whisper under my breath and I practise not breathing. Also images enter my mind, scenes of bloodshed, terror and death.
But the thing is I think clearly when I do it. It’s I dunno, a bit of a ceremony at night. I lay in bed. I pretend I’m in a public place. I picture myself fainting for a reason. I picture myself not breathing. Cutting myself (in my head not IRL) and things. I want to see the reactions the faces of my friends if they know what I’m thinking.
Long long long long long long ago in February I wrote a boy a letter. People found out and constantly teased me. Then I went through a phase where I wanted to hurt them that teased me, show them how powerful I could be.
Then I wanted to be mad. So technically I’m not. But schizos deny they are mad, so maybe that makes me mad because a deny it. I utterly deny it.
It’s good enough for me to know that I can strangle someone, which has stopped me from a path. So I know what I’m doing. But society is hella pissed.
But who is society?
To me society is the majority of snobs and junkies and idiots and stick-in-arse faces. The wealth-consuming-selfish absorbed turds. And then some.
Also nothing is ever ever important. Not happiness, not friends, not clothes, not food, not water. We don’t need to live. Society judges you if you don’t want to live. And then it judges you when you don’t live the right way. Society has funded life, so it’s not even life anymore... it’s a game with different stages so we can die happily ever after and call ourselves adult.
Everything is unimportant, everything is artificial, (which is probably why most things rile me up).
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