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I have always enjoyed writing, whether I am good at it or not. This is an excerpt of something I have been working on, it's a little love story, but it's one of mine. A story that means the most to me. Please provide feedback if you would like. It make seem confusing, but the other 30 pages of this really give more insight.
*Grammar will be off-unedited*
What is love? Is it that butterfly feeling that you get when you see their face? Is it the undeniable desire for their touch? Or is it simply being there for someone? Like a bond that you have never felt with someone before. No matter how far they wander, they always seem to find their way back to you?
There is only one love I have ever experienced that has made me feel this “love at first sight” feeling. The connection even being apart. Like our souls are intertwined somewhere or that we have met in another life. Some people are destined to be a part of the other’s life. This love for me was like fire and ice. Acid and alkaline. Rain and shine.
But maybe love isn't all of those things, maybe it’s simply seeing someone for what and who they are and accepting every little bit, even the things about them that make you mad, even when they have caused you pain you still wonder about them. Look at the stars and just wonder where they are, how they have been, and if they miss you like you miss them.. Even just a little bit..
When you strayed away from me, it was like I had been run over, a pain and ache in my heart that I was under the belief would never go away. I have never felt that pain.. Except when my brother had died years later. I felt a pain so deep in my soul, I thought I was already dead. You have never left my mind, not even for a second. The pain you made me feel was unimaginable, but through all the tears and alcohol I somehow learned to let you go, but never fully. Later, I discovered that you went back to the ex before me. The one that you said happy birthday to while I was sleeping. The one who actually made you feel “loved” when I did everything to show you that love, only to be unwanted. What I had done for you was overlooked and dismissed because people that meant nothing to our relationship got in your head, making up rumors about me. You believed them. You didn’t believe me.. I never would have hurt you for I loved you so immensely.
Through all your bad drinking habits and constantly being intoxicated, I still learned to love you for who you were. The painfully broken and beautiful you. Your soul is so pure and simple. You mask your pain and social awkwardness with flippant humor. You think you’re a good liar, you hide who you really are inside for fear of judgment and lack of acceptance. You love to make people laugh because you’re broken inside. I accepted you, I loved you.
After a baby with this woman, she began to realize all the things I had, except you were better for her. You loved her more than you ever loved me. It was a total of 5 months that we were actually together, however, knowing each other for much longer. When I met you, it was the wrong time in my life, as it was for you. You had just lost your mom in 2015. I was struggling through a toxic and bitter relationship while raising a child, and living with all the damage that had been caused from my childhood. I have not always had an easy life which caused my acceptance of abuse and the ignorance of how love was supposed to feel.
Then I met you.
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