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It's 12 a.m. in London, and I'm awake. I can't sleep because I'm stressed, and anxiety has wrapped itself around me. Too many things are unfolding in my life right now for me to write about, and I'm hoping to receive a few responses from you all if you're feeling the same way. Do not worry, this is not another letter laced with sadness but if you feel it to be that then let me introduce you to my emotional side: this is it. I am an INFJ, if you do not know what that is, you may google it. Being it is overwhelming, I feel everything too intensely that it leaves me mentally and emotionally exhausted. I need a partner. I am not longing for a partner but I do want to share my space with someone who accepts me. You know, I have walked in and out of toxic relationships and I only evolved after each of them. I have got so much love to offer that I wonder if I will ever be able to receive a love like mine. I love myself, do not get me wrong but sometimes we need that special someone who can pick us out of the mess we unnecessarily tend to get ourselves in. I need a best friend. I need someone to kiss, to love without thinking that he will leave. I need someone to embrace me in his arms because this empty bed only makes me realise how pathetic nights can be. I am independent and I have been strong for too long but I just wish I could sleep with someone, not even sexually but in a way that it was just that person and I. I want to feel safe and protected and these thoughts overwhelm me. I don't know how to explain this feeling but I am tired of being strong, I wouldn't mind a company now. I think I am ready to be in a relationship. The question is, will I ever be able to find someone who will match my love?
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Babe, take a few deep breaths. I understand what you are feeling and your feelings are completely valid. However, you need to understand that giving too much of yourself to one thing will lead you nowhere. Love is beautiful, I agree but it is not everything. Your single hood is teaching you the value of freedom. You have the biggest control over your life right now. If you have entered your adulthood being single then it's the biggest achievement in itself. You may wonder why? Well, you have grown up on your own and beautifully. Had you started dating early, you and your partner would have gone through so many phases that it would have overwhelmed you even more. It is not easy, okay? Moreover, I understand that having someone can boost your mood tenfold but not having someone helps you connect with your deeper self. The self which desires love and affection and care. So, trust me, you are rocking right now. And I know, you cannot obviously receive the physical affection right now because you do not have a partner but in time, you will have someone hugging you so tight until it heals you completely. Do you realise that the best moments are waiting for you? They will love you so so so much, cutie. Don't you worry. <3
ReplyYou will get the right person. They will understand you. The universe is listening to you. God is there. You will never be left alone. Thousands of people are feeling the same way but they will not burn themselves out thinking about what they don't have, will they? So, trust me the last thing that you'd need right now is sadness. Be happy and learn to wait.
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