The way I said your name

It was a completely unplanned moment. The way you said my name that night had many interpretations. You must have said it 10 times and each one meant something different. To me, some of them told me, "You are far sexier than I could have ever imagined", "You're driving me crazy right now", "Oh my God, that feels amazing", "Nobody has made me feel this way in a long time", and "You could have anyone--why are you attracted to ME?"

And yet, some of them had different undertones: "I want to so badly, you have no idea", "Believe me, you're incredible but I just can't", "I am so out of place right now and I don't know how to find my way out of this", "Please don't", and "I have to stop but I don't want this to end".

So many variations, so many mixed signals. I barely said your name all night but one rang out true above them all. One had every emotion I'd been feeling all night and for the last 5 1/2 years. With your head rolled back on the couch, you called out my name as I straddled your lap. I combed my fingers through your hair, cradled your head in my arms, and breathed life into your name for the first time. It was the most beautiful way I had ever said it. Your name from my lips was the definition of love, reassurance, security, connection, respect. Your face changed and I knew that you were truly hearing your name for the first time. That one word brought you to your knees. It told you how much I loved you. How much I cared for you. It was the way your name was meant to be said. It was delicate and motherly yet confident. It was the most beautiful way I had ever said the most beautiful name. I will never forget the look on your face and the blue in your eyes in that moment.

I love you.