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why do i do it? well,
Consistency.
pain is so addictive, the consistency of it all. what hurts, will always hurt, at least a little.
Control.
yes it’ll always hurt. and i get to decide how much. how much you do, how deep you go, how long you stay there, where you do it, is all up to you. i get to feel what i want to feel whenever and wherever i please.
Escape.
i don’t have to think. everything rotting in my head goes away as i sit and fade away into a world of blades and blood.
Uniqueness.
Yes, other people can cut and bruise and burn me, but it’s not the same. watching my own hands rip apart my own skin makes me feel so.. ethereal i suppose. how many people can honestly say they had the strength and courage to grab a blade and drag it across their own wrists until they hit veins. how many people can sit and stare at the thousands of scars they left on their own legs.
honestly i don’t know why i do it. i just do. and i can’t stop.
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Because it is addictive. Leave more time in between doing it until you stop altogether.
ReplyI hope one day it'll be different and better for u
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