I don't know what to do

I don't like myself. I just really feel worthless, yet I do nothing to feel worthy. I'm a big burden to my family. The people that I knew are now living a happy life, and I'm happy for them. I just wish the same for me. It's been a struggle to find a job when I'm addicted to the Internet. Escapism is my only escape from reality. I've never truly felt "happy" in any of my achievements when I was younger. Even a teacher called out about that when I was awarded. How could I be happy, when I know that I'm nothing but a nobody.

Now, my parents compares me to other successful people in my age range. I just feel utterly tired and unmotivated to strive harder in life. I don't even know what I want to do. As my parents say, I'm dependent. How can I be independent when I don't have money? The only thing I have is a crippling anxiety and hidden depression for many years. I struggle each day to find any positive things.

I'm so tired.