(Need advice) Why is he like that?

Hello, my name is Isabelle and I am a computer gamer. This will be quite a long read because I like to give as many details as I like, plus I feel like this is a safe space for me to rant my feelings.

There are 3 of us in a group, me(female), Kay(male), and Pai(male). Kay and Pai have known each other for more than 10 years through gaming and they both live in 2 different neighboring countries, but they've never met in real life.

I met Kay and Pai through an online game and we all became friends. I've known them for almost 2 years now. Kay and I eventually got closer and we've told each other that we like each other and etc. We're not gf/bf but sort of in a special relationship? I don't know...not sure what kind but it's like LDR. During these 2 years, there were various ups, downs, and dramas... and I'll tell you why.

Pai and Kay are each other's only gaming friends and both of them would play and be on Discord(voice speaking application) together ALL THE TIME+EVERYDAY. They both have other friends as well but they never seem to play together. So here's me, trying to spend solo time with Kay, but whenever Pai's online, Kay would immediately try to compensate him and spend time with him instead. I don't feel quite as comfortable being in the same voice channel as them. It is because they would have their own political / POV subjects, they would chitchat among themselves, and me being the odd one, definitely feels like an outcast.

Kay would specifically ditch me(while we were playing a game together) just because Pai's online. I've told him about how I felt left-out, ditched, isolated, and him not caring about my feelings. I've also told him that I always make special time just for him and our sessions together, even schedule work hours differently just so I can meet his availabilities. I've told him about this issue multiple times and he said that the problem was me, not him.

There was once when he told me this:

"Hey, I spoke to a few friends today and apparently they are interested in playing (game name here). I told them that I know you(Isabelle/me) and maybe you might be interested in playing with me too during the weekend?"

I said: "Yes of course! I'll download it"

After downloading the game, I said..hey how about we play (game name) with your friends? Like you told me about it and didn't you say that we were going to play it this weekend?

He said: "NO! Why would I want to spend my time playing that game with those people? I'd rather spend my time playing with Pai."

I said: "But I already downloaded it and you said that we were going to play together..."

He ignored me.

So.. I was quite shocked by what he said and I was very disappointed after that.

After all these explanations and me trying to get him to understand my thoughts -about why he couldn't make time for me, he thought that I hate Pai, which I DO NOT. In conclusion, he said I spat him and Pai, was disrespectful and mistreated Pai. I came home one day and suddenly found out that Pai removed me as his friend from every single gaming platform. I was in a huge shock and thought, what did I even do to him? Nothing. So I asked Kay the reason behind it and he told me that I should blame myself for it because I was being very disrespectful and spat at Pai, also said that I didn't care about his feelings. Kay told me that Pai said: "We don't even get to play together anymore and I am depressed."

I cried so much because I didn't do anything wrong and I was being treated that way; just because I told Kay how I feel when I'm in a group with them and also wanted Kay to make some time for me as well. I said to Kay "If you're treating me like how you treat Pai, then I don't think that I'm going to waste my time."

Kay really wanted to play (new game name) so he told me that he's going to be playing with Pai all day every day and asked me to join. I felt quite uncomfortable because Pai deleted me everywhere and clearly didn't want to be friends with me. Just because I wanted to make Kay happy, I then joined their group again.

Kay would only make time for me whenever Pai is not around or if Pai's at work. I find it extremely weird too, that sometimes Pai would message Kay and tell him things like - Hey I'm on my way home / the weather is very bad / sends him photos.

I get it, it's normal to be sending those messages here and there. But.. I just find it a little weird and I don't know why.

Kay and Pai can be on the same voice channel, game, and spend their time together ALL DAY. Kay always gets distracted by him a lot because Kay never eats whenever he's hungry. Always in a rush to play with Pai regardless of whatsoever. Kay never proposes to go to bed or sleep even tho he's really tired and played until 2-3 am. Whenever Pai says that he's going to bed, Kay will follow him after as well. The funny thing is that Kay and Pai can game all day together until past midnight, but whenever Kay and I game together, Kay always yawns, tells me that he's tired, and always says "oh it's bedtime for me". :(

Every single weeknight, Kay has to keep Pai accompany and game with him after Pai's dinner. I don't understand why? As for the weekend, if Pai is around, they'll game the entire day as well. I purposely work on weekends because I know that I won't get together time with Kay at all because Pai will always be around. But then sometimes Pai is around on the weekdays as well... and it's just so lame.

Yesterday after 8 pm (after Pai's dinner time), Kay said to me while we were on a private call:

"Hey, do you want to go over to the discord channel to keep Pai accompany?"

In my head, I was thinking, erm...why? Why should I care or why should I keep Pai accompanied? I went over anyways, just because Kay would always leave the call and go over to the discord channel. Always super happy with Pai as if he saw his favorite food. Then we played until 2 am together. If it's Kay and me, Kay would have gone to bed earlier than that.

This morning, Kay texted me and said: "Ready for some exclusive time?"

exclusive time means talking and spending time together just he and I without Pai. So I said.. "Yes, I'm excited!" Then after we started playing our 1st match in a game, Kay said to me "Oh apparently Pai is on and not working today. Want to go over to the discord voice channel?"

I said: " Wtf....why..?"

Pai told us a while ago that he won't be around for the next 4 days because of the Christmas holidays and to see his family.

So Kay said: "He said that he won't be around for the next 4 days."

Me: (speechless)

In the past, I've told Kay a few times that I won't be around to spend time with him, but then he'll never do things for me like how he did to Pai. :(

I would text Kay at times and he would reply to me super late and the reason is, 'busy playing' with Pai.

Occasionally, if Kay doesn't feel like spending time with Pai, Kay would put his status as "offline" so that Pai would think that he actually went to bed instead. But why doesn't Kay just straight up tell Pai that he won't be able to play and in fact spend time with me? What's so difficult to tell?

I've asked him once, I don't understand the relationship between you and Pai. He said that they are just friends. Kay said that he does private voice call with me for exclusive times. But then whenever I'm not around, he does the private voice call with Pai as well(I know because I made a private call to Kay but he told me that he's in a voice call with Pai). Does this mean that they're exclusive too? (confused)

From all the context above, is this how a gamer's life suppose to be like or..?

- What if Kay or Pai gets married one day? They are both in their late 20s.

- What if either of them has kids one day?

Sometimes I wonder if Kay ever thought about these questions for himself?

I'm very confused at times because, until this very day, I still do not understand Kay and Pai's relationship. Do best friends spend all their time with each other like this every day?

Pai, Kay, and I all have outside friends, but Pai and Kay barely spend time with their other friends and are always together. As for me, I go out with my friends sometimes and spend longer times with Kay. So I'm confused, as to why Kay would spend the same amount of time with Pai and I?

Am I the problem? Why does he always say that I'm the one who's overthinking and with problems? Why do I always feel weird whenever Pai is around or whenever Kay spends time with Pai? To be honest, I have no idea where my importance stands. If you were me, what would you do?