A lot of ppl will write today here

There are no standard recepies for healing a hurt feeling/heart

We can fall in the whole by being pulled by the impotence of being not protected/believed or invalidated (feeling I had as a child)

That feeling will grow and fight for justice like screaming: I WAS RIGHT TO FEEL THAT WAY but those people won't listen ever (sometimes). So that feeling start to be stucked and like old food start to decompose into another feelings (bad for us): as rage, resentment, etc. And then, the original feeling will be lost in our heart, buried deep, very deep down and hidden by our unconscious mind to protect us. Unless we make therapy to clean it.

Those people will never say sorry, never will recognise their faults with you, less your feelings. That just happens. But I'm trapped in poverty (for now) so I can't avoid those people time to time. Specially on Christmas.

So I write this to myself.

Christmas is supose to be solemn because is the time where we symbolise the reborn of love in our heart (religiously known as Jesus). And I was feeling that I couldn't connect to that spirit because that feeling buried deep. A process I'm still working on (in therapy). In the meantime I have to be like a Zen Master in front of those people who live "normally", so I won't let myself go on the hurt feeling and basically start telling them put of the blue: get the fuck out of here motherfuckers.

But that should say my mother, or my father, not me. But they won't ever do it. Because they threat them once with not seeing their grandchildren never again. So I am the sheep to the sacrifice in this situation.

Well, once the mind is clean and my heart is washed by the connection with "that" (also religiously known as "God"), all that shit will be forgotten. You see, there's a part of it in each person, but that part gets lost of wr stop trying to call it back. So yes, I'm still hurt by what they did to me in the past, but should I forget they have too "that sacred part" inside of them in some place? But don't worry, I won't put up with their shit. I will just not let myself being carried away by the "putrid" feelings, because they are harmful. Instead, I won't forget the pain, I mean, the pure state of the original feeling, which IS healthy and let my heart spread it outside if it's necessary, and THAT will be my protection, my validation.

Have a nice Christmas people, 🎄