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Hey guys! I'm sure you've all heard of a certain Dr_A on Novni who is a really supportive, smart, and kind doctor. He/she has two posts where you can ask him/her about anything, talk, or just vent. (Look up "Support" tags and it should be near the top.)
I know I'm nowhere as experienced or smart as Dr_A, but if you guys ever want to talk to me about anything really, I'll try my best to help you out. Sometimes, Dr_A goes on breaks (and rightfully so!) because he/she's busy like the rest of us are. And some people's messages are unanswered, but the doc always answers in the end.
If you want an answer from someone else, please feel free to ask me in the comments!
-Haru
If you see a comment that is unsupportive or unfriendly, please report it using the flag button.
More Posts
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Safe space to talk
Hey guys, Just wanted to post that I’ll be here to chat for anyone who’s wanting an ear. On any topic heavy or light. I feel like we all need it....
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Let's Talk pt.2
Hey, it's Dr_A here again! After helping a lot of you from my last post; offering support to many of you on here with mental health, and other medical condi...
Hi there. I appreciate all the support people from novni have been offering, and I wanted to say something. I recently got dumped by my boyfriend and we had a really big test a few days ago for math. He got a higher score than me (he got a 100% and I got 89%) so I got really childish and became upset.
I really regret it, but that day I came up to him and ask if he cheated on the test, just to get on his nerves. He said "no" really flatly like he couldn't care less about me, and I think his friends were laughing when I went away. I really wish I didn't say that because I just embarrassed myself and now everyone thinks I'm the sulky ex-girlfriend. He's actually really smart so that just makes my case worse.
ReplyHello! I'm glad you reached out to me about this.
In my opinion, I think it was only natural for you to feel resentment towards your ex-boyfriend. I can see that you regret saying that because now people view you as a poor sport.
Honestly, it's quite true. And that's normal. It's okay to feel hurt and lash out. But there are consequences, as you have just experienced.
The best thing to do would be:
A) Reach out to your ex. Tell him you're sorry about acting like that and tell him you don't want to be dramatic or messy. Be on good terms, don't try to push him into things.
B) Just ignore it. Everyone eventually forgets about it, and the person who is guilty usually exaggerates outcomes and feelings.
In the end, there shouldn't be too much trouble. If someone continues to bother you because of what happened, be firm. Even if it seems weird or embarrassing, being defiant always works. If you can't seem to do that, try telling a trusted adult and let them sort things out.
About your ex-boyfriend; You must be feeling a lot emotions right now. Betrayal, hurt, confusion, stress, anxiety- And not just from him. From studies, peer pressure, I remember those school days.
But I've had many friends who've dated and broken up. Even when they had the worst case of break-ups, they all eventually became friends again or just lost their hostility.
Cheer up, and just remember that time will eventually fix things.
-Haru
ReplyI feel so scared to talk up in class , even like small things . i have social anxiety. Do you have any advice to not be afraid of public ?
ReplyHey there! I'm sorry I couldn't reply sooner :)
I also had lots of social anxiety when I was in school because I got separated from a lot of friends when the pandemic started. Returning to school and having to talk to people was difficult to get used to. My heart would start hammering when I wanted to ask the teacher a question or if I wanted to say "Hi" to someone.
Now, it's mostly faded away, though I do get slightly nervous talking to peers. Just remember that whatever you do or say, no one can really judge you because we've all been through it before. Being awkward or saying something weird is something we have no right to judge because we've all done it before.
Realizing that people don't care as much about talking as I do helped me a lot. If you have a friend or adult you trust, try talking to them about it and let them give you advice too.
I hope this helps!
-Haru
ReplyWhat do you think maladaptive daydreaming ? Do you think It's bad for your health ? Any advice to get rid of it ? But to note that I don't also want to get rid of this . I enjoy being in my own world . My source is music and movies and I'm emotionally attached to them. Is it okay to like being alone ?
ReplyI've daydreamed intensely before, usually as I'm preparing to fall asleep in bed. It's okay to wish for certain things and thinking about them in your head. I personally don't think it's bad for your health. If it gets to the point of delusions and hallucinations, then yes, it would probably destroy your mental health. It's okay to be attached to those things and it's okay to be solitary. We're able to socialize, but that doesn't mean some people can't spend time alone to themselves. If you want to get rid of it, try cutting off your time watching TV or looking at your phone. Make new hobbies, make cherishable friends, try less "creating" things and more "reality" things.
ReplyFrom Haru :)
ReplyYou're a lovely person Haru. You know that? ;)
ReplyHearing these things make my day! Thank you for all the lovely compliments :)
Reply