I miss my mom.

I miss my mom.

She’s still alive but she’s not my mom anymore.

Not since the divorce.

She’s disappeared and ran away hoping her past will disappear.

She says she loves her kids but refuses to reach out or talk unless it benefits her.

Why are we a part of her past that she is trying so hard to forget?

We didn’t do anything.

I miss my mom.

But not the mom she is now.

I miss her love that was apparently not unconditional.

I miss the person who made me feel safe.

I don’t know what we did for her to not want us.

I don’t know how to protect my siblings from feeling this pain that I’m sure they feel regardless.

I miss my mom.

You’re just a person now.

I miss your advice when I would struggle.

and your laugh that made everything feel better.

I miss my mom.

But my mom is gone.

She’s happy now and I guess that’s supposed to make us feel better?

She’s happy I guess.

But at what cost?