The guidance I never got...

Hi, I am a 26-year-old male, I lost my dad when I was 2. I will make it short my dad was not a good man, he was an alcoholic and didn't care about me or my mom. I am thankful that God gave me a great mother but lately I feel a sadness that I can't describe, I have never felt it before. Since my childhood I didn't pay much attention to my dad's absence in my life but lately, I am feeling it. I have missed out on a lot and lost many things. I am feeling that if I had a good dad to support me and my mom, we would have been better at life or dealing with things in a better way. I seriously feel it now, no one cared about me or what I was doing in my life, I just lived without knowing anything about the world. No one corrected me when I made mistakes and I had to learn everything through experience and I lacked confidence and encouragement. My mom cared mostly about earning, I don't blame her because it was hard enough for her but the people who were around me (like my uncle, grandfather) didn't pay much attention to me and didn't teach me anything which would benefit me in my life. I was always thought to study well but no one thought me how to deal with people and maintain relationships, not even encouraging me to dance or to do something fun or take me to places where I learn stuff or anything which helps me as an individual to find my passion or at least become confident around others, I just grew. When you are little you need encouragement from elders initially so that you will find something that might interest you. I didn't know why I graduated but my interest lay in making films which I didn't know until I was 24. I never uttered the word "Dad" in my whole life, No one seems to understand that pain. I am not blaming others for my life, I have made many mistakes myself but it is good to have people that care about your future and be interested in you, and be a guide for your life, right?