:/

I was manipulated and lied to at the age of 10-Now. I still am being manipulated and lied to all the time by the same person. I still have trauma from what happened and their voice makes me uncomfortable. I feel guilty for ever leaving my friends behind with them. For 3 years I left my friends until now and I still feel so fucking guilty. Even now they aren't friends but I still do.

Basically, in fourth grade this girl told me they'd do this and that if I was their best friend and I trusted them. Then around fifth grade a friend of mine left and the girl took over the group. To that I left, but to this day she still tries to gain control over me and lie to me even if I don't hang out with her. Because I left and because my new friend is lesbian, the girl targets my friend instead of me. They think TARGETTING my friend will help gain control over me once again. I'm tired of these fucking mind games and shit. I'm at school, I'm trying to learn, and get good grades. So why the fuck are they fucking up my life again. Why has it gotten so bad that the dean got involved once. Why is it so bad that me and my friends along with old friends made a fucking document with all the shit she has done and lied about. Why the hell is it so bad that I wrote out almost 2000 mother fucking words on Google docs. Why is my only question. Why does she have to control me of all people? Why does she fucking hate me so much that she needs to ruin me and my friends lives. What. The. Fuck.