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I love my friends so much.
When I say I will do anything for them, I really mean it. Fr if they need me to drive ten hours to do something for them, yeah I would do it. If they need money, even if I’m tight on it, I will give them the shirt off my back. I’m not close to most of my family so I can easily say I love my friends more than anyone or anything else. So why is it that they never love me the same? What do I do so wrong?
I always want to hug them and give them gifts. I go out of my way to do stuff for them just because I love seeing them happy and try to always pay attention to how they’re feeling. I send check-in texts to them if I ever don’t see them in school, and I think of them all the time. Like I ALWAYS am thinking about them and how much I love them. I love them more than I love myself.
I always hold myself back bc I don’t want to seem clingy or creepy, but I still wonder if I do too much. I can never tell if people actually like me or are just tolerating me because nobody ever does the things I do for them for me. Sometimes, if I’m extra paranoid, I’ll stop talking to everyone for a while, just to see if they’ll message me first. They never do. I know I shouldn’t do this since it’ll just make them REALLY not care but I can’t help but search for the confirmation of my fears.
I just feel like I’m setting myself up for failure with every relationship. I love people so much but they never love me back. People never like me the way I like them. What is it about me that is so repulsive? Why do I feel so sensitive about how they treat me? It always goes the same way and I always end up feeling this way because I’ll never be anyone’s “best friend”.
I wish I could love a little less and care a little less, but I can’t really stop these feelings without shutting off all others…
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Continue to love freely with no strings attached. Not for them, but for you. It is a gift to have so much love. Be patient and stay hopeful that maybe, one day, someone will love you just as much as you love them. If not more. It goes against your nature to be frugal with love. It’s who you are so embrace it.
ReplyYou sound like the sweetest person ever. I would die to be friends with someone like you. You are very special and you should show just as much love to yourself as you do to others. It's not your fault that your amazing-ness isn't appreciated. Find people who will match your loving energy.
I can also relate to this. I feel like I have so much love to give but no one to give it to. One day we'll both find our people <33
ReplyJUST LOVE YOURSELF. NOBODY IN THIS WORLD IS WORTH LOVING.. OR ATLEAST DON'T EXPECT ANYTHING IN RETURN WHEN YOU SOMETIMES DO ANY GRATITUDE ACT. WHENEVER YOU GET THE FEELING OF NOSTALGIA OR LOVE FOR FRIENDS, SAY THIS 'FUCK FRIENDS', 'FUCK NOSTALGIA'. THIS WAY IT WILL BECOME EASY FOR YOU TO MANAGE FEELINGS. REMEMBER YOU ONLY CARE ABOUT YOURSELF AND YOUR GOAL, AND NOTHING ELSE. THIS WAY IT WILL BECOME EASY.
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