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Is it ok to be jealous? I think it's fine. But I'm jealous to a point that I cry myself to sleep almost every night. I don't know if this is jealousy or something else.
To begin with I have no friends except my one and only guy friend. He's my best friend and he said that I'm his too. But the thing is he also has another best friend. And she became his best friend only after I became his. Every time he talks about her I feel like she's more important than me and all of a sudden I feel like I'm someone who's important to no one. He says he loves both of us. But it hurts. He tells me about the things they do together. But I can't help but be jealous that we don't do them together. But then again we do things together a lot more than he does with her.
I cry in the silence of the night with no one by my side. I don't have any other friends than him. It's not that I hate his friend or something. But I can't. I don't know what to do anymore. Apart from this I feel like I'm worthless, useless and the worst human ever. There's this deep endless void. There's this constant pain inside my chest which won't go away. I don't know if this pain is because of my friend or something else. I feel so stupid. Tears fall down my eyes without my knowledge. I feel like I lost someone bigtime. I'm sorry I'm pathetic like this. But I don't what to do. Someone please help me.
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Hi hun~ I feel like this too sometimes. Do you think it would help you to make friends with this other girl? Maybe that sounds silly but if all three of you are friends, you can all hang out together and maybe you won't feel as left out when he talks about her. That's what I've done in the past.
It seems like you're feeling a little more than just plain jealousy. It's normal and okay to feel jealous sometimes but crying because of it all the time isn't good for you.
I think you should put yourself out there and take advantage of any friend-making opportunities you see. That should help with feeling lonely and insecure in your friendship(s). Socializing can be daunting at first but I promise it's actually quite fun. Just work on your confidence and self image first so you can feel more comfortable with talking to other people and hopefully making more friends.
ReplyThing is, I don't want to make friends with her. It's not that I don't like her or something. But I just don't want to make friends with her. I don't know why.
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