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Hi, i came here to ask a simple question. maybe not simple to answer but i would want to know how to treat it! whenever my friend is randomly texting me happy, after leaving me delieverd for a 2+ hours i get upset. I feel upset because i have a feeling she talks to somebody else that makes her more happy then i ever could, and i couldnt wonder who could that person be. I dont like being treated as a second choice either, or someone useless, but i really do know i am not everyones center, or main priority, i am aware she has other friends, she posts on social media and stuff, wishing them a happy birthday, but why never me? everytime i lend her my time, i feel like she doesnt appreciate it, it feels like i do all the effort and when i dont i feel guilty, that i didnt, or couldnt make her day nice, besides boring to just tag along and walk around. And my mood swings are like a roller coaster, if i would overthink one thing, of how her mood changed through text, or how fun she is having without me, would cause me to act cold to her, i dont mean to but it happens, im trying to fix it, but it just happens out of nowhere without me even noticing, i dont want her to view me as a hot and cold shoulder person!!
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Heyo, ok. I am literally in the same situation as well. And it’s because we put them in a pedestal, as in we value them too much over ourselves. If she doesn’t reply, don’t give it much thought because she doesn’t value you in the same way you do to her. You seem like an awesome friend and there will be people that reciprocate that but she isn’t one of them. Stop bending over backs to please her because that leads to expectations that she would do the same and then you end up feeling hurt when you realise that she isn’t doing the same. Just lower your perceived value of her to a basic friend rather than a best friend. Detach yourself and find other people to hang out with and I know it may be hard since you really like her but you may be missing other connections by just chasing the sole one. Or if you want to … just tell her how you’re feeling. Like you’re left out and stuff and she how she reacts.
ReplyOhhhh now i see why, thank you so much for this, i guess we should both focus on ourselves. Your advice is spot on though, i felt called out.
ReplyHahah I know it sucks! Yeah, honestly valuing yourself over others is much more important and worth your time. Think of yourself like that girl and put yourself on a pedestal. I’m trying to do that too. We give a lot cuz we care but in the end, we end up losing ourself in that person which isn’t healthy. Let’s both love ourselves and find better friends ❤️❤️
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