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Sooo I have this guy friend. We have been friends for almost 6 years now. I always considered him as my friend only and he always talked about other girls with me so I never thought anything else. A few months ago he suddenly blurted that he had feelings for me. I was shocked cause it wasn't something I expected honestly. I honestly replied that I don't have such feelings towards him and the topic ended on that. We hung out few times after that. He had some personal issues going on so we decided to meet today just to get his mind off stuff. He again brought back the topic and started asking me why I don't wanna be with him. We're close friends so he said we're perfect together as we already share a lot with each other. I politely replied that I just don't feel that way and just see him as a friend. He started saying that he has genuine feelings towards me and I won't find another guy that likes me like he does. Now he's a great friend but I don't like him romantically. He started asking if it's because I like someone else and I said no but he insisted. I kinda left it at that and returned home as it was getting late. Now I'm worried that did I do something wrong?
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You didn’t do anything wrong. He doesn’t seem to understand that there are different types of attraction & relationships, different ways to care for another person, and you can’t force a feeling that isn’t there. Also, to be completely honest I feel like he’s being a bit disrespectful of you and your boundaries. Yes it hurts to feel rejected, but that’s not your fault. You were honest with him and he needs to accept that. If he keeps ignoring you and wanting you to change the way you feel about him…well, that’s a huge red flag. It shows that he’s not considerate, and if you hypothetically were in a relationship, it implies that he could potentially take advantage of you because he’s already ignoring you when you say ‘no’. Consent is important, and that starts early.
Also, be careful. I experienced something like this when I was about 15. It turned into a stalking situation. This guy (who I had been kind of friends with before) kept messaging me, asking me every day why I wouldn’t date him. Then he started approaching me in real life with hypotheticals (‘what if I was the last person on earth, the only person you knew?’), then bargaining (‘if I change all this stuff about myself, then will you go out with me?’). Each time I said no, he got his feelings hurt and he got angry and more determined. He started following me. I won’t go into more detail, but it kept escalating and eventually he assaulted one of my friends out of frustration. To begin with, he’d just seemed like a completely normal, friendly guy. I felt bad about upsetting him, there was nothing seemingly wrong with him, but I couldn’t force myself to be attracted to someone. Over time he showed exactly why I’d made the right choice.
Reply:)... ah.... I am going through this and I am 15 this year TvT
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