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We initially grew up in an abusive household. It’s just your regular bog standard story. My mother left our father at our most tender ages, and my younger brothers grew up facing the brunt of that decision.
Even if it was made to protect them, they were already a little under 10 when they separated (re:when my mother fleed with us). They imprinted on the wrong things, and now fight with each other to try and become the missing “man/father figure” of the house.
i.e, creating the same type of chaotic environment my mother desperately wanted to escape from.
Every day is a testament to the next, the level of violence, or passive aggressiveness increases between them. They admit their hate for each other. Including each other’s lifestyles, friends, love interests.
I assume it comes from deep resided jealously, just oddly twisted. They want what each other has, and above all that, they want control.
They’re both 13 and 14. I don’t exaggerate their hatred. I grew up as fast as I could, to try to protect my mother and younger brothers. I speak as I see it. But this isn’t about me.
I remind my brothers that what they do hurts our mother. To try and pacify them. It works, but the times where I’m not there, the times where they may just occasionally say an insulting remark or push each other away from my notice, I’m powerless.
They continue to grow in their developmental stages, hating each other. And turning to the wrong crowds, who find entertainment in their anger.
I’m simply losing sight on how to console them. Especially when I’m not around.
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