I ruined my 3 year relationship

He finally saw me the way I see myself. He might have for a while honestly. I am depressed, angry, selfish, worthless, bothersome, attention seeking, jealous, bipolar thing I think I have ever met. He knows that. It all started because of how stressed I have been lately. We were supposed to go on vacation next week. I don’t think it is going to happen now. I was just talking about how prom tickets are expensive and that he should pay for mine because he has a lot more money than I do and we are dating so I think he should pay the money for my ticket since his parents are already paying for his. Then he suggested using the money that we put together(we were supposed to buy something romantic with it) to use on my prom ticket which wasn't the point so I got upset. When I get upset I tend to take out my anger on the person because I cannot control it because I was raised like that and I know it isn't an excuse. but idk what else to say. It is my fault. we got into an argument. He told me I always start fights and fix them because I start them which is why he never try's to fix them. He also started ignoring me which he knows makes me more angry. idk what to do, we have been together for 3 years... I need to get help but I can’t. I need to be with him but I think he isn't going to forgive me. I am now going to cry all night and idk. I am broken. He sees me like I see myself. What have I done. It is my fault that no one will ever love me. Who knows how long he has thought this. It could have been the whole time. WHAT IS Wrong WITH ME?